A good question, and one that can be answered quite simply: no (Matthesen, 2010).  Just as Easton and Hardy (2009) point out that anyone, of any sexual orientation and inclination can be a slut (a term they use for an individual with a sex positive attitude); anyone, regardless of sexual orientation and who has the inclination, can be a polyamorist (Veaux, 2009, Benson, 2008).

A more common assumption is that in order to be bisexual a person must be polyamorous (Norrgard, 1991).  Indeed, the title of Norrgard’s (1991) article is ‘Can bisexuals be monogamous?’ suggests that there is an implicit assumption made by many people about bisexuals; that in order to be a “bisexual” one must be in a relationship with both a man and a woman and therefore can never ‘be monogamous’.  Norrgard (1991) agrees, as does Klesse (2007), that some individuals agree with this idea, and do not feel that they can fully embrace their sexual identity as a bisexual without being in a relationship with a member of both sexes at once.  However, they both go on to argue that this is not necessarily the case with all bisexuals.

This assumption that bisexuality is intrinsically linked with polyamory can also be seen in this quotation taken from Plummer’s (2003) Intimate Citizenship: Private Decisions and Public Dialogues:  ‘We are able to construct new sexual identities – from transgendered and queer to polyamorous and bisexual’ and again in Forman Sumpter’s (1991) Myths/realities of bisexuality, where she explicitly confronts the myth that ‘Bisexuals cannot be monogamous’.  She succinctly sums up the argument by stating that:


‘Bisexuality is a sexual orientation.  It is independent of a lifestyle of monogamy or non-monogamy.  Bisexuals are as capable as anyone of making a long-term commitment to a partner they love.  Bisexuals live a variety of lifestyles, as do gays and heterosexuals ‘Forman Sumpter,. 1991. p12.

What’s wrong with monogamy?

As Veaux (2009) put it, ‘nothing’.  Monogamy is a valid lifestyle choice; it is, however, not the only one.  There are a myriad of different ways of living and experiencing relationships of all kinds and there is nothing “wrong” with any of them, provided that the individuals involved are consenting adults (Benson, 2008, Taormino, 2009, Easton and Hardy, 2008, Matik, 2002).

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